Frank Zappa - Uncle Meat Film Excerpt Part II

[Phyllis:] I used to watch him eat, and while he was eating I would talk to him, and while 

he was eating I would ask him what he was doing, and all he would say was, "I'm using the 

chicken to measure it." Till this day I still don't know what he was talking about! That 

Minnesota Tishman, he was some guy, but I still never understood what he meant. The chicken 

to measure it, I don't know, probably some secret thing.

[Phyllis:] "I'm getting hot. You're really good at those dials, baby. You're the most 

manipulating person I've ever seen. What's he eating? Is he turning into a monster? Frank: 

But you're just making things out of it. Don: Put it in your mouth then your eyes. Frank: 

You're getting hot, come on! The last that . . . " I don't like this page, it's not so 

funny . . .
[FZ:] What's the difference?
[Phyllis:] I don't like this page, it's not so funny. "Oh, this gets me hot! Oh, this gets 

me hot! Will get hot, I can get hot over it. Get hot over the hamburger, I can get it, 

you're getting hot, oh, am I hot over this hamburger! Think am I hot, for a hundred dollars 

you're getting hot, oh, am I hot, I'm so hot, I'm so hot from this hamburger, I'm hot."

[Phyllis:] Well, I'll just continue on with my work, I can't be thinking about such things, 

gets me too confused. I think I need a shower, I'm tired, I'm hot, the room air-

conditioning is not working. If you don't pay the bills, how does the air-conditioning 

gonna work? I'm going.

[Massimo:] And now, dear friends, we are going to translate. This is my left hand.
[Phyllis:] This is . . .
[Meredith:] Violence!
[Stumuk:] This is my left hand, non?
[Meredith:] Violence! Ooh, I just, ooh!
[Guy From Alabama:] You have an orgasm?
[Aynsley:] No, but it just feels good!
[Guy From Alabama:] Can I watch?
[Don:] That's what we need, progress!
[Aynsley:] Actually I think that's uh, that's cool.
[Guy From Alabama:] Get the girl here in the red.
[Aynsley:] Yeah.
[Massimo:] Repeat after me: Questa e la mia mano destra
[Stumuk:] Questa e mia mano destra
[Don:] Progress!
[Phyllis:] Where's the prostate gland?
[Massimo:] Look out!
[Don:] Progress is our most important product.
[Massimo:] Guardalo che mangia! E mentre sta mangiando parlami mentre mangi. E chiedimi 

cosa sta facendo.
[Stumuk:] Parle mi.
[Massimo:] Che cosa sta facendo? Sta mangiando. Adesso chiedimi cosa sta facendo. Sta 

mangiando
[Stumuk:] Guarda sta fachendo!
[Massimo:] Ma non lo posso fare.
[Stumuk:] Sta mangiando!
[Massimo:] Me ne devo andare.
[Stumuk:] Mene debo ndare!
[Massimo:] Devo tornare.
[Stumuk:] Dere tocnare!
[Massimo:] Era un senatore a trentasette anni.
[Stumuk:] Era un senatore de setreste ano.

[Guy From Alabama:] What band being you playing in?
[Aynsley:] I played in a blues band.
[Guy From Alabama:] Blues band, so do I!
[Aynsley:] Blues.
[Guy From Alabama:] Blues!
[Aynsley:] Blues avant-garde, you know?
[Guy From Alabama:] Yeah, I know what you mean.

[Massimo:] And this is my last single.

[Phyllis:] Oh, what is he doing? You still carrying on with that song? It's the same thing? 

I can't, I can't do it anymore. I'm going to make these louder so I don't have to hear 

about him. Forget the past!
[Don:] I'm sure that it's going to be a hit single.
[Phyllis:] We're coming to the beginning of a new era, wherein the development of the inner 

self. But you, what do you do? You watch television and you play with "The Bun," driving me 

crazy. Leave me alone.
[Stumuk:] But this is twelve years later.
[Phyllis:] I know.
[Stumuk:] Have a new "Bun."
[Phyllis:] I know.
[Stumuk:] A better "Bun."
[Phyllis:] What kind of new "Bun"? You . . .
[Stumuk:] A brown "Bun."
[Phyllis:] Every year you tell me is a new "Bun," I'm tired of this. I'm gonna, I'm gonna 

give it all up, I'm gonna go back to New York, I'm tired of you already. Finish! I can't. 

No, no, no, no. Go! Can you stop me?

[FZ:] I wanna do another take of the same situation from the other side.
[Carl:] Let me go on the other side.
[FZ:] And Mr. Tishman, it's, you've gotta find . . .
[Phyllis:] When I remember this . . .
[FZ:] Yeah
[Carl:] Let me just see uh, "Bun."
[FZ:] Minnesota Tishman.
[Phyllis:] Right here.
[Carl:] Uh, give me the, give me . . . first . . .
[Phyllis:] I remember that guy . . .
[FZ:] Isn't he handsome?
[Phyllis:] Yeah.
[FZ:] He was using the chicken to measure it.
[Haskell Wexler:] Can I stop now, Frank?
[FZ:] Sure.
[Haskell Wexler:] Okay, cut the cam.